I have been in a grumpy mood lately. It could just be something which happens to men as they age, probably thinking the world should listen to them. Or maybe it's the chip-on-the-shoulder thing. The voice which says "I could of been a contender" but nothing actually happened. Wanting recognition, or just believing you are right, but still can see someone walking towards the edge of a cliff. On the other hand it could be the plethora of emotional vampires around me. In one instance they cry out for attention and help and then when it is offered take no notice. I should take some of my own medicine as Sparkling tells me. Don't let yourself get involved, don't say a thing because your opinion is not wanted and has no value, if someone wants to walk towards a cliff and commit emotional, financial or some other form of suicide, let them because whatever you have to say will not change them. They are what they are and are doomed to continue. We each have to find our own way, recognise our own misgivings and tackle those very same misgivings personally. You can not change someone else's view of the world. I know, I've tried it, and I've tried it with reason and logic in the cold light of day. But reason has no place for the lemmings, they will do what they have got to do. Jump.
These persons are generally termed as "The Victim Vampire," they are around me in my own family, I just can not get away from them. They sap every bit of positive energy out of me, then I keep being drawn to the conclusion I should have nothing to do with them at all. Own family. Yet it doesn't stop there either. They are in the Fish Factory as well. To tackle these persons it's advised you should give them little leeway to discuss the problems of their life, unless they want to change those problems, but you have to be warned, in discussing these problems they are then getting attention, your attention. Further, after giving all your time and effort for solutions you may expect to see a change in the individual but don't. At which you can become disappointed. Effort has been expended and there has been no change. This is exceedingly frustrating, I know. There is solution is to give them the Samaritan's phone number not your own number. The additional problem is when you become the advice giver, you also become an emotional vampire later on, because the victim failed to act it becomes easy to criticise their behaviour. Which in turn perpetuates the Victim Vampire (VV). You become another person added to the list of people who failed them and they in turn blame for their life being the way it is. It's yet another negative cycle, the VV now has another birch to whip their own back with. The closer you are to a VV the more difficult it is to slay them. Whether this is emotionally or physically. You have to protect yourself first, by making your own garlic sauce and bathing in it.
This garlic sauce can be in the form of detachment. This may also mean getting to understand your own intentions. It is difficult. Because I am a social animal to a certain extent. I like to listen and be heard, but if I am doing this for my own ends and the person I am listening to is a Vampire neither I or this person will achieve a thing. Detachment is stepping away from the situation, and accepting they will not change and asking whether I should include these persons in my circle of influence. It's probably better not to, and if they happen to be family. Then there is no use in seeing them more than you have to, whether they like it or not. Day to day these people can wear you away, till the person you once were has been sucked dry. It's how I'm feeling with my disappointment in someone I know. I have to let go and be detached. If the garlic sauce is taking time to make another form garlic is humour. Satire, irony or any other thing which can pop back in mind. Learn to throw it about like the circus knife thrower. It takes quick thinking, and the good thing with it is, it can raise a smile. The bad side is the Vampire becomes offended, but may not be so bad after all, offending a vampire could mean they leave you alone. Alternatively, getting into their bad books and they may pursue you even further. Which is not fun at all. However, if they are very much the VV type they will view your behaviour as another instance which can be sited as confirmation they are big Victim's of the world. Oh poor me, what can I do, I am doomed, they could say. No matter how much you might try to lift their constitution or negate these negative feelings, the blood drips out of your veins. They will do whatever they are going to do.
I have to change my own perception of the world and learn to put my fists up against the vampires around me. Lesson one in any situation has to be self-protection, tomorrow I'm going to put a clove of garlic in my pocket and carry it with me all day. Then if it is needed, I'll just give it a squeeze.
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