Angry People

There happens to be a lot of angry people about nowadays. At times I will include myself in this group. Yes. I get very angry and at the point of killing someone. Generally there is a little relief when I ring up Sparkling Eyes. She just laughs at me and thinks it's funny I'm angry, my reaction to her laughter is to laugh as well. It is healthy to be angry. It is healthy to vent at times when you need to, but be cautious who your audience is. It has to be someone who is understanding and sympathetic, someone who can stroke your brow and say "there, there, pudding it is all OK" or rather than "pudding" they could say "handsome hunk of a man" which would be fine as well. In this day and age where people are feeling the pinch, literally speaking being angry about stuff is a normal reaction. Times are tight, the government is cutting back left, right and centre. Things which may have been taken granted for are no longer things which should be taken for granted. For example a friend of mine had to get a blood test. He received a text message from his local doctor to instead go to the hospital. There he would be treated as a priority patient because they had been unable to deal with him at his local surgery.  So having fasted for 13 hours he then went to the hospital. On arrival at the place for blood tests he presented himself to the reception nurse and they in turn agreed he would be dealt with as a priority. He was pretty happy about this as there seemed to be an inordinate amount of people in the waiting room. At which point he caught a conversation between the nurses. They said there was 117 people waiting for tests and only three nurses to do them. One of which was about to end her shift. There is one thing for sure, I think if I had to wait I'd of just walked out of the room altogether rather than wait at all. If I was going to die than it wasn't going to be waiting for a bloody blood test. So quite reasonably everybody is angry and for what appears to be good reason.

It seems everybody wants a bit of me at the Fish Factory. The pressures are enormous, and the chain of command is to pass-the-buck wherever possible. At this time the buck is being passed to me on a number of occasions. It's what happens when you become a middle manager and get squashed between those who actually work and those in higher management who get paid a lot more and just attend meetings pretending to work. The real solution however to any angry person's request is for them to talk to one of the actual ground floor fishes who knows what they are doing rather than someone who is above them. Lets face if, most managers are a not in the loop of understanding when it comes to ground floor realities. Only someone on the ground floor can know what is going on. There is something to be said about being well grounded. It may sound tautological, but it is true. I hate being given work which must be done by a certain deadline such as the day it is given to me. The reason for this is it is necessary to budget time and resources, being given a job to do without any warning makes me angry. So today I in part had lost it. Then late morning I am phoned up by a person who asks I ring up an equally angry individual to ensure something is done for them. My reaction is simple, I go to lunch. On the way to lunch I pop into a shop and purchase a sandwich, fortunately I manage to get to a till where there is only one person in front of me. This was perfect, as no time was wasted at all. Then I head off towards my usual pub for a coffee, but it's Friday and Friday is one of those funny days where every idiot thinks they should hit the pub for a drink at lunch or even food. The bar is badly manned and service is slow. I stand there with people in front of me and start to simmer away, having eaten my sandwich outside. I then walk out of the pub and along the Thames. To chill out. To relax, because I want to kill. I am fecking mad.

There is a point in the getting angry process where any little thing can set off an angry person into a crazed state of mind. Only the strongest self willed people can stop themselves from becoming raving lunatics. Fortunately I'm pretty strong willed. As mentioned early, part of my coping strategy is to seek outside advice. I rang Sparkling, blowing my lid, she thought it was hilarious.  The fact is she would probably pay to watch me get angry and in a fight because she thinks I'm a big fanny.  So not at all macho, there could be a little bit of truth to this, but let it said even gentle buttercups have an angry side.  Given the right circumstances. Sparkling told me to take some of my own advice, to relax and calm down, to which I stated if I was giving myself advice to relax I'd blood well kill me, because it would be condescending. She laughed more and talking to her didn't help me at all. It would of been better to have ran the Samaritans, or someone else who knew about humanistic psychology and rational emotive therapy. I know every much what the prescription is but it is difficult to take your own medicine, it is necessary for someone else to administer it. With a big blooming spoon and a cube of sugar on top.

It's about nine hours after my initial angry feeling and I'm still not calmed down. I'm controlled, but not calmed. I guess controlled is good at least it doesn't mean spending a spell in prison for homicide.

I really should start eating sweets again, but not the red ones.