I've had a great week with Sparkles and Rock Chick. Although I am continually wary of being a victim to their combined satire. One I can take, but the two of them and I am then completely at their mercy. But they don't work together all the time it's just when they seem to be sitting on the same sofa. Sparkles has been working the long leg pull, it's to do with cannibalism and her survival.
One day while sitting down watching TV, listening to music, or maybe just reading a paper. Sparkling asks me if I would eat someone if I had to, were there no choice over the matter. This is a human being, she was talking about. I thought about this for a moment, wondering about the movie I saw where a football team had got stuck on a mountain and ended up eating each other. They were Mexican possible, perhaps there just was a lack of fajitas about. My reply was along the lines of, when I was younger I'd probably baulk at the idea but now I'm older and a little larger in size, I just might eat another person, given there was absolutely no choice in the matter and it was one of survival. Life or death so to say. Sparkling asked if I'd give my life up for her if she needed the food. I took this a little further and asked at what point would it be she'd require such sustenance. Would this be after a couple of weeks, or a month, when the water ran out, the food ran out, or at a suitable time when the rescue parties had a chance to come and look for us. She was willing to wait for 2 weeks but this seemed to be at a stretch. I'm sure she mentioned liver, but what was off the menu were my toes. I asked if maybe when she felt hungry I could offer an arm, this way I would still be alive. It would give us both some time, and time to be recovered from this odd situation. Alas this solution was not to her satisfaction, because I was told: I would be moaning too much and she would not be able to put up with my moaning. She'd have to eat my tongue, so it would be best for me to just offer myself up so she could live. Willingly I asked. Yes was her reply because if I wanted her to carry on living and I wanted to show how much I love her I should just give in to it. Her appetite being what I was to give into.
It is with realisation everything now adds up. I used to be a pretty skinny wretch when I first met Sparkling. She in turn has fed me up. I'm now of a ripe size, so if we get stuck in Alaska, a desert Island or some other barren land I will be on the menu. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sparkling has told me she likes a little lard on her meat. Now when sparkling massages my back with one of those little knobbly massaging ornaments I wonder is this to loosen up the muscles or is it to pulverise some meat. Well it is a leg pull, what more do I expect.
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