It's my birthday today. Sparkles had tried to trick me I was actually a year older than I thought. I'll admit to being taken in by her for just a moment then with a little quick calculation or rather not so quick at my age I realised I was one year younger. So now for the next 6 months Sparkling and I are both the same age. I stop being the toy boy. Considering I'm not a boy and certainly not a toy it's probably an inaccurate statement to make. Sparkling has said to me on numerous occasions she needs some one younger with a bit of oomf. Then she'd put a dish of crisps and salsa dip on my lap and watch to see if I'd eat them. On the quite she likes to test my will power. Quite often she knows it is weak, but once in a while I hold back from the allure of junk food. Last night we watched a program on Doris Day, it passed midnight and Sparkling wished me happy birthday and sang Que cera, cera. It was lovely. I felt very happy, as I did this morning and opened presents, Rock Chick had actually listened to me when I said I liked the music of Ed Shearer, I am now the proud owner of his CD, which had come out on my birthday. Wonderful.
I have been having a discussion with Sparkling, it has carried over from last night, or maybe the night before. Anyway it began when we were watching the news. Egypt was on telly and there was violence and public disruption, riots, burning, fights with police. It began along these line when I stated:
"Now that would be a good place to go on holiday."
"Yes, we could get a cheap one there."
"Well, it would be good to get involved in it, carried along with the atmosphere of revolution."
"No, I don't think it would be a good idea to go."
"How come?"
"Well if some of the men got hold of us and said to you, 'we're going to kill either you or her' you'd push me forward and say take her."
"No I wouldn't." I needed a moment of thought on this matter. I had to say it, "Honey, I'd take a bullet for you."
"No you wouldn't."
"Yes, I would."
"No you wouldn't."
"Yes I would."
"No you wouldn't, you're a coward. I know what you're like."
"That's rubbish, I would, you know I would. Would you take a bullet for me?"
"No."
Again I have got to learn my place in the household. Olly had me running after him getting up 3 times this morning to his meow. Feeding him biscuits and letting him out. Then in, then out, then more food. Sparkling says he only does this when I am here. Dangerous Sport's Lad is a bit the same. I watched as Olly had jumped up on the window sill behind Dangerous. I said nothing. Then Rock Chick says "Dangerous, Cat!" he automatically stopped looking at the laptop opened the window behind him and let Olly in. I suppose you'd say we are now trained men. I am so trained now, my feeble protestations about painting rooms with off pink emulsion fall on very deft ears. I get "it's our house, we live here, get over it." It don't matter how much I say I feel effeminate, because there is way too much pink in the house. Even a walk around the local DIY superstore is barely returning my hormones back to normal. I deliberately did a detour of the power tools section, advising Sparkling and Rock. Hoping for a testosterone boost. I put in my ear phones listened to a little music. Kneelled down in interest trying to work out whether there was a mortar raking drill bit, then before I knew it I had been pushed over with a foot by Rock Chick. For a moment I was like a turtle on it's back. I was hoping I'd just be able to roll myself back onto my feet. But it didn't work. The bastion of power tools had been invaded, the one serene guaranteed man place to feel like a man again had been interrupted. Shortly afterwards I had a big pot of pink paint, and lamented how girly I was about to become applying this to the front room walls.
It's well into my birthday now. The emotions of opening presents is over, jeans and shirt I'm wearing now. I love them all, just being here with Sparkles makes me very happy. Only thing is she is still not convinced I will take a bullet for her. I had better watch myself, because I know with my luck, there's a pink bullet with my name on it and I better jump in front of it at first opportunity.
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