I'm back at the Fish Factory, immediately after my return from seeing Sparkling. A number of people said I looked tired. It's odd because I slept like someone had dropped an anvil on my head. I can imagine this would of been the kind of thing Sparkling might do, were she friendly enough with a blacksmith. When I hit the bed my eyes closed then opened immediately it was morning. The comfort of bed was missing something, as it always does when I return. The feeling when my arm would rest on Sparkling or the weight of her arm resting on me as I sleep. It's a comforting sense and wonderful feeling.
I've been texted a few times about the naughty goings on of a nearly teenager from the Do. What is it about children wanting so desperately to lose their childhood years and grow up. When childhood should last at least a good 50 years. It's so important to have the little child inside of you and let it out. I try now and again. Maybe one of my fears is I lose my imagination, lose my understanding of what it is to be young, of having those so strong emotions you just can not always control them, or having to face the pain of entering into adulthood and not the adequate support of a caring parent. Rock Chick is very lucky. However, being a parent is no mean fete of reality, it's the toughest job on earth. Some give up. I know this for sure. Only today while in a lift I overheard a conversation in which a man said he was glad his teenage son had gone. How he'd kicked the 18 year old out because of alcohol and drugs. I thought this was so sad. Should I of said something I wondered, but decided not to, because my words would of been a double edged sword. Along the lines of "it must be sad as a parent when your off spring turns out like that" because I thought his parenting was partly to blame no matter what his son was like. How much time had this man spent showing his love to his son rather than giving up on him? We all need support and love through our entire life.
I'm trying to get to grips with my new mobile phone. It's frustrating having to understand all the menu's and whether I need them. The battery life is a lot shorter than my old phone lasting about 2 days, whilst my old one lasted a good week. I'll just have to get into the habit of making sure I turn it off. So for the moment I carry two phones about. It's a period of transition I told a colleague. I don't know what I am doing, but I'll have to say goodbye to the old one at some point, perhaps. How on earth do people change their phone every year I ask. Well at least I've been saving the environment keeping mine as long as I have, about 5 or 6 years I think. I also have thought perhaps mobile phone technology will go retro and the old one will come back into fashion. I'll just have to watch this space and see. There must be some kind of attachment built up not the same as having a kid though. They cost a lot more and not just in money.
Anyway off to bed. Thinking of you Sparkling, night x
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