Thursday, January 01, 2009

The equator becomes a stone on the first day of 2009

I chose not to see in the new year, as 2009 was born I'd just hit the hay. The excitement was too much for any one person to contain, so I slept. This didn't dissuade others of course. On turning on my phone I found a voice message from L & B man. I can't quote it in full because of the colourful language, it made me smile, two of the words used were " ...old tart," I'm a shade older than him so he can get away with half of this, but I definitely am not a tart. No part of me resembles a tart. I don't have jam on my head or am inclined to wear women's clothes and hang out on corners of notorious roads. So the tart bit is out.

So early this morning I headed out of the door because I needed the exercise and took little Monster Boy for a walk round a man-made lake. There was ice covering quite a portion of it and the birds instead of paddling were walking on top of the water, sea gulls, ducks and swans. I took a few pictures with my camera. By the man-made pub next to the man-made lake there were tossed empty bottles of booze. Just laying on the ice. It's a shame the moron's who went to the pub needed to do this. I expect it was some idiot gene which was allowed full play after one or two drinks. Alcohol can have this effect. Even on ordinary people. I took Monster Boy back home and spent some time with him reading and talking about space. He seems to have this thing at the moment about planets and stars. He told me the Earth's surface was called the crust. I said it was the same word as the outside of bread and asked him why it wasn't like bread then, because it should be like toast. He enjoyed this banter and put me correct by saying it was just a word used to describe it. I then introduced him to a new word "equator" and did my best to demonstrate this with the use of a stone. Which was the earth, orbiting my fist and then he learnt what the equator was. He asked me to test him. He just loves planets and stars. It's all to do with Star Trek and Doctor Who and anything else fantastical on TV. But the good thing is he is learning, learning new and wonderful things, he has a fascination especially when it's put into easy to understand terms. I'm sure he might become an astronomer and be the first to discover Klingons in our solar system. Little Monster boy is funny and I enjoy his company. You just can't help wanting to pr0tect and nurture children, unfortunately some of them grow up too fast.

My next text message of the day was from Sparkling Eyes. She was worried at not knowing where Rock Chick was all night. No message, no text, nothing written down on paper or passed on from any other source. It may have been old year's night but Sparkling had clearly said to Rock Chick she had to tell her where she was. Sparkling was worried, going out of her mind and although she sent Rock Chick a number of text messages there had been no reply. I messaged back to Sparkling it was time to ground Rock Chick, because it was taking the P..... I'd of probably balled her out as well. It's an abuse of trust. What can you do though with 16 year old girls? One idea came to mind which I might follow up on. I'll get half a dozen tubes of super glue and have Sparkling glue Rock Chick to a chair. Wherever Rock Chick goes the chair goes as well. It would even be possible to tie a ball and chain round the chair to make sure Rock Chick doesn't wonder too far off. If she did by chance then maybe add a electronic box of tricks. So she could be tracked. Lets also add a device which could give her an electric shock, not too high a voltage just enough to make her yell out. Oh nearly forgot the automatic breathaliser which would be linked to the electric gizzmo shock device. These things together just might work. She could be located anywhere and if she didn't like it, the voltage would have to be applied till she did. I know it seems extreme, but for some reason at this time I can't think of a sane and simple way to get the message through to Rock Chick. It's almost like sensibility has left the building. My views are a little OTT and I'm sure Sparkling would tell me it's not the way to treat a young lady. But at this moment this young lady has taken the P....

No comments: