At one time in history the world was an unknown place. Where early Victorian explorers could find money from fellow rich Victorians and sponsor their treks around the world. Such adventures were then documented in all the European newspapers, especially at the great and wonderful discoveries made. The Victorians then would pilfer the treasures of Africa or India for example, and put them into museums. This was a sign of their greatness how they saw themselves. But let this not blind people to the reality. These Victorians were a class of society separate from the normal working man. They were from the upper classes whereas the working classes could barely make ends meet. Which does kind of piss off most of the working class people when citizens of a plundered country generalise to the whole of Great Britain. Certainly non of my relatives have ever been on such trips. So we all get tarred with the same brush. As there was more and more learnt about the world it no longer became some big adventure, technology helped a lot in this respect as the invention of air travel in turn led to the package holiday. Europe is not a mystery and the mapping of streets from a Google car has made every road open to being viewed. Only the most enduring feral places which do not have long term human residence are unmapped. Until now.
This morning's news had an item about google in the jungle. The Amazon. They have now rigged up a large heavy camera which can be trekked through the jungle. However, being pretty heavy it does require a few strong men to help lift it off the boat when it lands off some inlet from the Amazon. The mobility issues is a real problem because it means they can not actually go everywhere. They will pick and chose special treks. Or rather available and well trodden treks. After all you really don't want to get your machete out every two or three yards to cut down jungle for a decent picture. This could also lead to places of the Amazon becoming open and available to ordinary holiday makers.
Acme inc (fictitious holiday company) already has a line up of several planners waiting to see the jungle camera view. They have proposals of riverside apartments on the Amazon. These will of course be on stilts or concrete pillars, they will also have to chop down a little bit of forest to allow for aeroplanes and helicopters. Not to mention the most useful method of travel which will be by boat. A contract is already being drawn up with a local pygmy tribe to man these boats and take the new owners of these apartments up or down stream. Except nobody has yet realised Pygmies are a small tribe and their boats are small as well. This may cause a little difficulty with some of the fatter Europeans. So presently they are looking for rich anorexic short Europeans. Their plans are still on the drawing board as Acme Inc has not yet had any enquiries through their web site. They haven't yet got round the issue of building a swimming pool. Health and safety wise there are murmurs of what would happen if a croc or some large snake were to take a dip at the same time as an appartment resident. So they are playing with high doses of chlorine to see if this will dissuade the local wildlife from adventuring into swimming pools. One likely suggestion is to have a local sit on a high chair with a blow pipe. This will provide much needed employment opportunities to the pygmy's who are only just realising there is more to life than just putting a bone through your nose. Mind there is caution they do not want barriatric sight seers being mistaken for hippopotamus and darted in error. In an earlier expedition the Pygmies had inadvertently captured one of the google expeditions (prior to the beads-can-buy-anything negotiations) and found out the use of the Apple Tablet after appropriating it. When it stopped glowing and giving of light images it made a wonderful chopping board. Google is investing more into jungle level street view as they believe the world could change and give pygmies greater opportunities. However, there is a suspicion this was because one of their chief executives had married 5 pygmy brides in the last two months. He is now being sort by several tribal members, because polygamy is seen as wise, not any man can put up with five wives.
Of course there have been some protestations. The international Wildlife Fund, believe crocks could be pushed to extinction. Acme Inc's biggest rival MicroMe Corp (not to be confused with MicroSoft) as MicroMewatch this space.
I suppose it has to be accepted the world is changing. Google seems to be leading the way on this. I have made enquiries in the background whether there are some upper class British aristocrats oiling the cogs. The reply has been no, they are an equal opportunities employer nowadays and as the cogs on their wheels are pretty low down, yes, you got it. Pygmies are now the preferred assistance.
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