I noticed this morning, probably more than before, how I had slept on my back. This is something I never used to do. It has crept up in the last 10 years becoming more frequent. My breathing pattern has also changed. Breaths are shorter and inhaled into the lungs rather long drawn ones inhaled downwards towards the diaphragm. This probably come about through a more sedentary lifestyle. Less getting out there and running, cycling or hitting the gym. It's like getting hot sweaty and worn out just doesn't excite me as much as sitting in front of a TV and watching a film. It could of course all be a factor of aging, or it could be pure lazyitus. So sleeping on my back which used to once feel very alien and odd is more of a natural thing to do. Weird. Though possibly a fear I used to have also played it's little part. The thought if I let myself sleep on my back my tongue might slip back into my throat and block my airways then I'd die of suffocation. This may seem out of the ordinary but it is a very true conscientious fear I had. I'm sure there is probably a name for this phobia. So besides not doing enough exercise it could be I have overcome a fear and cured myself of it by getting older and fatter. Well there is something to be said for being a short fat man then. I have become fearless. Well lets not over exaggerate, just fearless with sleeping on my back, nothing else. Spiders and other creepy crawly things are still there. But rather than flinch from them I force myself not to be a scaredy cat. The thought has now occurred to me what would happen if a spider climbed on my face and into my mouth or over my nose while sleeping on my back. What if it then spun a web? I'd possibly suffocate again. I knew I shouldn't trust those things, those little creepy things. The crawlers. No. I'll get over it. I'll just build a moat around my bed and then nothing will get close to me, I'll be safe. Maybe stick one of those medical tubes down my throat which keeps my tongue out of the way and allows me to breath air. Now I feel a lot better. Who ever would of thought sleeping on your back can cause problems?
Which reminds me of spiders. This is something Rock Chick has a phobia about as well. I know it's cruel but when I hear her shout out "mum, there's a spider in my room!" or "mum, there's a spider in the bath!" I do have a little smile on my face. Yes it is perverse and cruel I'll admit it. Sparkling does her duty and quickly takes the culprit crawly thing and throws it in the garden. She then sadistically shows me and nearly pushes the thing in my face. At this point I usually hold my breath, do my best to hide any fear I have, not and say something non commitive. "oh yes, what a nice spider" or "isn't he a big one" and with fingers crossed Sparkles throws the thing out the door. Cold sweat is abated. Relief. But I'm not manically afraid of them, just enough to know they are scary, hairy, little creepy crawly things. Bloody hell, I hope I can get to sleep tonight.
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