Passport in a jiff

I had to pop home from the Fish Factory at lunch time.  The postman had been and there was an envelope from the passport people.  The ones who allow you to go on holiday only if your passport is valid.  I'd hardly used my old passport and it seemed a shame but these things have to be renewed.  So about a week ago I sent of the application form with a cheque payment.  Looking at the little envelope there was only one thought in mind, it was too soon and what the hell had I done wrong on the application form?

The application form was a nightmare to complete.  It was because of the little booklet which came with it, the instruction guide which was 24 pages long.  Being a renewal and not a new passport appeared to be the easiest passport to apply for.  However, it didn't stop me from reading through the 24 page booklet of gobbledygook.  A booklet which is designed to cause the most confident person in the world to doubt their own abilities.  The thing was it just simply had not been designed for someone to understand.  It would probably of been easier to understand were it in a different language.  Even on google now it is possible to get translation software.  As I read through the pages of this guide they didn't seem to quite differentiate from one kind of passport to another.  It was as though the applicant could just flick the pages over and then stab it, while blind folded with a drawing pin.  Then to use the page and section the pin had pierced as guidance.  I might of lost my marbles, but knew I was not going to let the bloody thing get the better of me.  I would get through it.  In addition I wasn't going to pay the bloody Post Office my hard earned spondulies just so they could check over the form to see if I had filled it in properly.  For the Post Office it was the easiest £20 quid they could make.  Hell, I could now stand outside a Post Office and check passport applications and charge them half the price they were charging.  It's a way of shafting the public, especially as they make you have to cue up to get a passport application, just so they can then try the hard sell checking service. 

At this point before I opened the letter I was regretting taking the decision to go DIY on my own passport application form.  In fear the image of my old passport with a note saying the application was incorrect, no signature, wrong part completed, photo's not authorised and something wrong had happened, then I would have to re-apply.  Tearing open the package a brand new passport stared me in the face, amazement and happiness all at once came over me.  And the question of whether I could of had an even better picture taken.  It had been done, yes!  No problem.  Right this moment I could strut my stuff around the front room doing a chicken dance and sticking two fingers up to the Post Office.  No checking service for me because I don't fit in the thicko category, so stick it in your pipe and smoke it.  Yes!  I can now go around the world and see places, do things, and then write little post cards with wish you were here messages.  All curtisy of the Post Office.  Well they are good for something.