Sunday, August 07, 2011

Tottenham riots, pigeons and flat screen TVs

The roofer rang back only 36 hours late. I guess a workman's idea of punctuality is in a different time zone to the rest of us.  The man who puts bread in the garages for the pigeons is still doing it.  And if I get up early enough I just pick it up and bung it back over the garages into his garden.  Riots are taking place in North London.  Police cars on fire, buses on fire and shops being looted.  I heard the radio and one bloke said "if I were walking down the street and a rioter come up to me and asked if I'd like a flat screen TV for ten quid, I'd buy it," If you ask me there'd be a cue of people and a riot to buy the flat screen off the rioter.  Cheap at five or six times that price.  I also heard of Innocent bystanders being mugged by gangs of youths.  This quelled my notion of getting a bus to Tottenham, I don't want to add a little fat man to their statistics.  Not only that if they burnt the bus leaving how'd the hell would I get home.  By following the pigeons no doubt. There's a Yahoo video of a storm brewing in Canada, it appears as a cloud spreads outwards the head of a man appears.  Blimey, I thought I recognise that bloke looks like the one who feeds the pigeons.  I threw some bread at the monitor and watched it disperse.  Wondering if I should shave and wash today or be stinky and unshaven, well if I were in Tottenham I wouldn't want to be recognised.  I could put some clothes on which well make me look different so no one would recognise me.  Because descriptions of people are really descriptions of clothes and general physical appearance.  Perhaps some ballet shoes and a tutu.  Fat hairy legged short arse gets mugged in Tottenham.  He says to a reporter "the Tutu didn't do it's job, and I thought my body odour would ward them off."  Ambulance stops and takes him away.  The newscaster on the radio seemed to sympathise with him saying "he only wanted a flat screen TV and now he's been sectioned, poor bastard."  Mind there are reports of rioters having a certain feeling, a feeling in the air (not like Phil Collins) one more of being hard up and angry at the government.  Another caller on the radio said it was the police who started it, they made it worse by not talking to an earlier group of protesters.  Can't say I've ever seen the police selling flat screen TVs cheaply.  I'm sure with all that riot gear they'd have a problem sticking them in the van.  The one which didn't get torched of course.  Or maybe this was why they were ablaze in the first place?  I'm sure it's a localised incident and will not spread.  Better put these running shoes away then.  Which reminds me of someone who once used plastic bottles for his Molotov cocktails.  I think he was fifty pence short of a pound, if not more.

Oh well looks like a nice day.  Better get on my bike, good thing about a Tutu is although it might ride up yours arse it never gets in the way of a bicycle chain.

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